Juan takes out rats with ... NAPALM!


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Kurt was featured on radio station 102.5 KZOK for using his M-1 Carbine again rats ... but Juan has come up with a novel approach (right up there with using a grenade launcher) to take out a few dozen rats at a time - YIKES! They should put him on TV - it's even better than me using a victor mouse trap to get a squirrel or using a baseball on a monster Ling Cod in Alaska ... and would be a lot more fun than watching paint dry.
Email the Fall City Rat Hunter himself and tell him your story too! ;-)


From: Juan the Napalm Man
Date: October 22nd, 2004

Dearest fellow vermin degraders,

I salute you. Kurt, I commend your structural sacrifice, as garage and M1 Carbine owner and fellow citizen. Margie, your an inspiration to all of us. And please folks, when using firearms always keep the barrel pointed in a safe direction and PLEASE keep at least TWO friggin' rounds in it when going after rats, always!!!!!

For the sake of our children, and our children's children, it is essential that our stories be preserved and honored with the written word. The various methodologies employed in the dispatching of our not-so-humble quarry: namely Rattus Rattus, or Rat for you scientifically handicapped, must be remembered in the annals of the internet.

The following is my meek contribution to your grand hall-of-fame-to-rat-hunting webpage. For what it is worth:

Two years ago to this day my wife and I moved into a little cabin nestled amongst the redwoods in the Santa Cruz Mountain Range between San Josť an Santa Cruz in sunny California. A dream come true... cheap rent, a few apple trees, and all of it smack-up against BLM land just crawling with black-tailed deer, rabbits, quail and all sorts of other appetizing yummies. All accustomed to peace-loving, hand-feeding, non-gun-owning neighbors, all of which lived enough out of sight to generally be out-of-mind as well. Shangri-La, truly, except for one thing: Wood Rats.

Now, I don't know know about yours, but in my neck of the woods these rats get so big they could pass for raccoons with some face paint and a little "Rogain" on their tails! And what comes with wood rats? Fleas. Myriads of them. They also make these elaborate structures out of twigs, sticks, vines, leaves and just about anything they can get their paws on. Some of these wood-rat edifices spanned four feet across and three feet high. There were dozens of these rat condos.

Just to set the record straight... I don't mind a little company in the great open spaces, but there comes a time when a man needs to claim his own, and that day came for me. I had a few options, as all good rodent stalkers should... a .22 semi-auto for the close-in shots, a .30 Carbine to reach out and touch them, a 12 Gauge shotgun with a folding stalk and a short barrel for when you've got 'em on the run, a .30-06 to leave a rat stain somewhere far, far away, and the (shhh...) secret weapon. A weapon so fierce only a few Jedi Rat Chasers dare try it...FIRE!

Having had a childhood with many hours of unsupervised recreation, and a career in the fire service spanning an entire decade, I had gotten to know quite a few things about the characteristics and burning properties of certain fuel combinations. Notably, my training and experience in back-fire lighting, used in the combating of wildfires, led to an advanced approach to rat control. You see, when properly mixed, diesel fuel, gasoline, motor oil and styrofoam cups create a nasty little concoction similar to napalm. It pours on nicely and coats as it drains, leaving a volatile trail as it finds its way deep into the lair of possibly dozens of rats and pinkies. The trick is to allow the fuel enough time to penetrate without letting the fumes get to the point where the rats decide they'll risk running. Then, with another trick learned through delinquency, you flip a match at the pile, making sure you have enough distance between you and the pile to retain all your hair when the fire ball rolls up through the air. POOOOMFFF!!!

The sheer exhilaration is enough to make you soil your underpants! Before the first pile burns down enough to stop threatening the treetops with incineration, your off to the next set of hapless victims! HA. It's so good I forgot to grab my camera! And I'll tell you what, it doubles as a fantastic warm-you-up on those foggy cold winter days, and for good old American fun, grab a cold beer, call your friends over and make sure the kids are part of all the fun!

Thanks for your time 'a wasted. Happy vermin squashing, frying, blasting, and just plain exploding.

Juan de la Cruz


I'm not sure Juan's approach would work too well in close quarters such as urban settings (my homeowners association would not look too fondly on napalm'ing the front yard) and it would certainly not work if you had bats in the house. But I gotta commend 'em for an excellent approach to taking 'em out in numbers - I hope next time he does this, he'll invite us to join the fun ... or at least send in some pictures.